Editors note:  I read this to a writer’s group.  It was dead quiet……..  Finally someone realized what I was talking about.  I do not think my husband is all that amused.

Hah!  Well, now I know.  He’s left me.  Yep. Years of service, love, loyalty and obedience apparently mean nothing.  He’s found something better.  He’s practically moved out!  That ingrate!

For years I’ve picked up after him, fixed his meals, entertained his friends, waited up for him when he came home late, done his laundry, made his doctor’s, uh Vet, appointments…. What do I get after all those years of devotion?  Tossed away like an old shoe.

Here I am, left alone with an empty bed!  I’ve been tolerant of his “other friends.”  I know he visits around.  We just don’t talk about it.  I’m understanding when he goes out with the boys and doesn’t come back home until the wee hours.  When he’s had too much of a good thing and is unable to walk home, I go and pick him up.  I don’t complain
And now this!!  This is too much to bear.  He never comes home any more.  I see him, lounging in the sun by her front door, sitting out by her pond.  Oh, I see him, I know!

What does SHE have that I don’t?  You know what he says?  Get this!   He says she gives him his SPACE (her house is bigger).   SHE doesn’t try to control him.  SHE doesn’t make him stay on the dog bed when he is in the house.  SHE never nags him about his diet.  SHE gives him table scraps.  I suppose he thinks SHE is prettier too!!!.